The Block 2019 episode 7 and 8 recap: Will Luke find his inner hardman?


The lesson from this week?

Don’t ever ask to crash at Mitch and Mark’s place.

Nobody really likes house guests, but most people give them more than one night before dropping hints that it’s time they were on their way.

But that’s what happens when Jesse and Mel crash on Mark and Mitch’s floor for the night while waiting for their guest room and ensuite to be given its occupancy certificate.

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They haven’t finished tiling their guest bathroom and can’t move in until it’s been done.

To be fair, Mark can’t understand why Jesse and Mel don’t just use the mountains of cash from their safe win in week one to get the job done.

But also, “we’re not f..king saints”, says Mitch.

Jesse and Mel risk their lungs by sleeping on Deb and Andy’s floor, despite Andy’s proficiency on the bum bugle.

Jesse and Mel’s frighteningly laissez faire tiler turns up well after lunch then disappears, leaving a mess behind. Foreman Keith finds multiple defects, and for once, seems to take no pleasure in informing Mel that so many tiles will need to be replaced that the waterproof membrane will also need to be redone, putting them back to square one.

It’s a tough break, given they’re also meant to be finishing their formal lounge, which they’re kitting out with a complicated marble tile border around carpet inset.

Keith is in awe of Jesse’s tiling in the room, particularly given he thinks he’s learnt tiling by watching YouTube videos.

“He’s having a real crack,” Keith says, not realising Jesse is a qualified tiler turned real estate agent. Albeit a qualified tiler who can’t get his bathroom tiled.

Jesse and Mel crash on Andy and Deb’s floor next (brave, considering the tunes Andy’s been playing on his bum bugle), but are going to run out of fellow contestants before too long.

Their next tiler spends nine hours doing a three hour job, and still doesn’t get it finished and it’s back to living like backpackers for at least another night, prompting Mel to blow her stack, proving that she is also “no f..king saint”.

This is usually Keith’s favourite bit, but even he seems to take no pleasure in showing Mel the litany of tiling errors in her guest bathroom.

Speaking of saints, Tess’ problem is Luke is one.

“He’s such a kind person, but that doesn’t get you anywhere,” she says, frustrated that he isn’t cracking the whip with trades.

The pair are fast becoming the most hapless contestants in Block history. They lost their builder Moz who quit before he could be sacked by Tess (who loves nothing more than a good firing). They’ve interviewed another builder, who took one look at the joint and ruled himself out. But at the final moment they strike gold, securing builder Matt, who helped Josh and Elyse to a win two seasons ago.

“Easy on the eye, very good at what he does,” is Tess’ assessment. Luke has an even bigger crush.

“The rumours are true. He’s half man, half god.”

“We’ve got a fridge full of Light and Easy out there for you,” he adds, apparently his idea of an inducement. Mmm, pre-packaged diet food, no wonder the dude signed up.

Find a partner who looks at you like Luke looks at Matt.

But it’s nowhere near the end of their troubles. Their plasterers botch the job, leaving walls that look like “waves at the beach”, according to Keith.

“Don’t be nice to them,” he counsels kind Luke.

So Luke gets on the phone and does his best hardman act, which is to say, calls the plasterer ‘brother’ and politely asks him to return to fix the job.

Elsewhere, Mark and Mitch are powering ahead, taking spray painting lessons while other contestants haven’t even finished plastering.

“You can’t compare yourself to House 1,” foreman Dan tells a morose Jesse. “They work like fools.”

Mark and Matt have a secret meeting with architect Julian Brenchley.

Fools with a cunning plan. When architect Julian Brenchley turns up on site to meet them, it’s clear to everyone they’re making some changes to his layout. Brenchley concedes it could be a game-changer on auction day, and when the pair reveal to Scott and Shelley Craft that their plan is to turn the third floor into an entertainment area, with kitchenette and ensuite, instead of a bedroom, Scotty calls it a “masterstroke”.

Scotty invites the teams to the Espy, which gets Andy’s thumbs up.

“They served up my favourite food and alcohol, which is free food and free alcohol,” he says.

The point of the dinner was to reveal the winners of formal lounge week won’t just get the usual $10,000 cash prize, but $35,000 worth of Gaggenau fridges too.

Game on, molls.

MISSED AN EPISODE?

Ep 6: Cheating allegations raised

Ep 5: ‘Like a tomb’: Block’s bathroom disaster

Ep 3 & 4: What’s got Scotty Cam so mad?

Ep 2 recap: Tears and fights start early

Ep 1 recap: Most shocking thing about this year’s Block



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