Husband won’t let pregnant wife take full time maternity leave
Is it so much to ask that a woman be allowed to recover – physically and mentally – from childbirth?
Any woman who has ever had a baby knows the total insanity that is the first few months of parenthood. Your hormones are crazy, your body looks weird, your sleep has gone out the window… and you’re suddenly responsible for keeping a small person alive. The best thing you can hope for is a good maternity leave policy and a supportive partner to give you a chance to rest and get back on your feet.
Well, one woman has taken to mumsnet to question if she was asking too much. She explained that she was a freelancer and was currently 31 weeks pregnant:
She went on, explaining that her husband has two kids from a previous relationship and that despite being married, the house is in his name and their finances are completely separate. She said he has “trust issues since his first wife left him”. (Cue giant eyerolls from every woman, ever.)
On top of that, he’s keeping the house they live in for the kids from his first marriage – so while he still expects her to pay half the bills, she can’t have her name on the deed.
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The woman’s husband expects her to do all of the child rearing while still working. Image: iStock
“He expects me to pay”
All of this sounds pretty fishy, and more than unreasonable on the husband’s part, but then the woman said her husband was basically putting all the burden of child rearing on to her.
She clarified that it wasn’t like it was an accidental conception – she is 42 and they have been through IVF and she’s had 7 miscarriages – but she feels like if she’s forced to go straight back to work she won’t be able to spend the quality time with this much longed-for child.
The woman has longed to be a mother forever. Image: iStock
“I’d divorce him”
As you can imagine, the internet was up in arms, finding it unbelievable that a man who has two kids already doesn’t understand the enormity of the first few months of new parenthood.
Others agreed she should be having some very big conversations in the next few weeks and that she should be see a solicitor, stat.
The man has no plans to support the woman or his child. Image: iStock
Everyone agreed she was in no way being unreasonable and that a few months off after birth was the least any new mum could expect. If he didn’t understand that, he was never going be a supportive partner or father. They also pondered what happened in the first marriage.
One put it, quite simply:
The original poster came back to the forum to thank everyone, agreeing it was pause for thought.