‘My 45-Year-Old Guy Friend Told Me 38-Year-Old Was Too Old To Date’
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Sadly, the lovely bubble of hope that I was living in just last week was popped by an outspoken, misogynistic ageist who I’d thought quite a lot of before one seemingly harmless conversation.
Let me set the scene for you.
It was a warm afternoon and I was joining a male friend for a swim at the beach. As we laid on our towels basking in the glorious sunlight, he vented to me about his new-found single status.
After two disastrous relationships with some 20-something-year-olds he moaned that he couldn’t have a proper conversation with them. To be fair, this made sense considering he was a 45-year-old bloke. Even I would struggle if the tables were reversed.
He asked if I had any ‘age appropriate’ friends that I could set him up with, and after a brief ponder and a quick scroll through my Instagram, we agreed that my lovely 38-year-old friend could be a good match.
So he asked me to put in a good word and we left it at that.
A few days later I ran into my fabulous, career driven, outgoing and gorgeous friend and I briefly suggested that perhaps she might like to get to know my male friend. She thanked me kindly but explained that she had just started seeing someone.
I relayed the message to the guy via text, and the message I received back, well… it angered me to the core.
He wrote back “That’s ok, she was on my edge.” I didn’t get what he meant so he wrote back “of age.”
Yep my 38-year-old female friend was too old for this 45-year-old out-of-work bloke.
Umm… excuse me… what?
I was out at dinner so I left the texting but later that night I started thinking about it again, and decided that what he was saying was ridiculous.
So I wrote back “Have been thinking about your age discrimination and that’s kinda messed up.”
He responded, “No it’s not, everyone has it. I want to have kids,”
So note to females everywhere – if you’re over the age of 35 you’re kinda screwed. Yep, according this male, now-former-friend, we’re not fertile enough for any blokes. Should we just go and adopt six cats now and hide ourselves away? Should we give up all hope of ever conceiving because a bloke believes we’re not worth dating?
Sure, he might meet the most amazing woman with a cracking job, great personality and banging body, but oh dear, she’s in her 30s, best steer clear because, you know, fertility issues.
I would like to say I responded maturely and fairly but no, I was fired up and decided an almighty “Oh f**k off, there’s other ways to conceive a child then the ‘oops I forgot to wear a condom’ method.”
The next night I was out at dinner with three other female friends in their 30s and put the subject up for discussion. All were fairly disgusted by this bloke’s views and the sheer shallowness of his dating preferences.
Two of my friends confessed that they had their eggs frozen a few years ago, and the other had her fertility checked recently and was given the all clear.
It actually got me thinking that perhaps I should probably start considering my options.
Either way, these fabulous single broads weren’t stressed about having a child. What did stress them after our convo though was the thought that perhaps all blokes think like this.
Are women in their 30s now stuck in a dating wasteland? Are men our age or older only chasing women in their 20s?
Well first of all, jokes on them because it turns out that according to a UK study commissioned by Singles247.com, women reach a peak of sexual confidence at the age of 31 and it continues right into our 40s. So while many clucky men out there are chasing after spring chickens, they’re missing out on some fabulous fun between the sheets with us “spinsters.”
Secondly, a recent study found that men’s sperm actually ‘goes off’. Yep according to a study undertaken by Harvard Medical School in Boston, from the age of 40 a man’s fertility can decline. It can also take a male over 45 years old five times as long to help his partner conceive and the risk of miscarriage is much higher. Sheesh.
So if you take a look around, I think you will find that many of us women are happy to deal with your ever receding hairlines, loss of libido and balls that seem to get closer to the ground with every birthday you celebrate. So do us a favour and stop treating our wombs like ticking time bomb deal breakers.